Gravel
by truecurrency1989
Summary: This is Leah's POV throughout "Life is a Highway". Less of an origins story and more of 3 years after where 'Breaking Dawn' left off. Rated M for language and future lemons.
1. Anniversary

A/N

Here is my second fanfic!

For those who are reading or have started to read my Embry fanfic, "Life is a Highway," this Leah's side of the story as promised. For those who have not read my other fanfic then that's ok, you really don't need to unless you want to.

This is a companion of sorts to "Life is a Highway," it will answer a lot of questions once you hit further chapters.

So, I don't own any of this, blah blah blah, Steph Meyers blah blah….

Ok! So here you go!

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It had almost been three years. It had almost been three FUCKING years since I had phased and I was still alone, wallowing in my room, listening to Ani Defranco.

I heard the sound of your bike as your wheels hit the gravel,  
Then your engine in the driveway cutting off  
And I pushed through the screen door and I stood out on the porch  
Thinking fight, fight, fight at all costs,  
But instead I let you in, just like I've always done  
And I sat you down and offered you a beer  
And across the kitchen table I fired several rounds,  
But you were still sitting here when the smoke cleared.  
And you came crawling back to say that you wanna  
Make good in the end and oh, oh,  
Let me count the ways that I abhor you,  
And you were never a good lay  
And you were never a good friend  
But, oh, oh, what else can I say... I adore you

This is the song I listened to the most after Sam left me. It said everything it needed to at the time. However, even though I no longer felt that way about Sam, it was the perfect angsty song to depict my eternal bitter state of mind.

Rain hit the windows and ceiling around my room in a heavy, steady rhythm. I could still hear it through my headphones as I got lost in the music. It was a pleasant and common back drop to all the music I listened to these days. Having the rain there was a reminder that it was all real, without it I would probably be deluded into thinking that all of this wasn't actually happening. I had those days every once and a while.

I would wake up and feel happy.

I would wake up believing that I was a normal 23 year old and my father was downstairs reading the morning paper. I could practically hear his heart beating and him taking a long sip of coffee after taking a bite of toast. These simple pleasures would make my heart feel light and free. Then, just as quickly as I felt this relief, though, my brain would come from upstairs and kick my heart's ass back down to the ground.

Luckily, my heart was already down for the count by the time I woke up this morning.

The day before had been the three year anniversary of my father's death. I was just starting to get out of the arresting stupor that this day always got me in. It seemed to get a little better each year. When my dad died, I was immobile and unresponsive for one week, depressed for another week, and then pissed beyond belief (that's when I phased for the first time). Now I was a vegetable for the whole day, depressed for one, but generally pissed all of the time anyways.

Another thing I loved about being in Jake's pack, he let me have this day off. Sam, being the royal, butt munching douche he was, always made me patrol on days he knew I'd be mourning my father. Those would be days like my dad's birthday, father's day, or my parent's anniversary. Sam thought it would be best if I got out and lived on days like these. Of course, he wouldn't be patrolling with me so he would be sentencing one of the other pack members to have to deal with my crippling depression and terribly volatile mood. Sometimes I felt like he would use patrolling with me just in general as a reprimand. It was more like capital punishment on these special days, though.

Luckily, I was out of Sam's pack for good, so today was the day of patrolling again. I still had several more hours until I had to head out. It was about noon but I wasn't told to get wolfy until around 5 pm that night.

Guarding the perimeter had been pretty easy lately. He usually had one of us do it at a time and basically whenever we wanted to. The others did it to keep in shape and immortal. I could care less about immortality. But it was either having the ability to blow off steam and kick vampire ass or stay home and become a spinster with too many cats. I hate cats, naturally, but you get my point.

Since those Italian vamps had left over a couple years ago, there were no other threats. The only bloodsuckers that went through the area around Forks were the Cullens and any of their friends which we were warned about very far in advance.

I hadn't torn into a leech since the newborn attack; therefore I had all this pent up anger and frustration bubbling just below the surface most of the time. The only way to keep it at bay would be patrolling or listening to music like I was now. Even with all these preventative measures, I was still in a foul mood all of the time. Leaving Sam's pack was wonderful, sure. However, I was always crushed by the feeling that I wasn't doing anything with my life.

I thought it was ironic that all my pack brothers thought my bitchy attitude was the result of still being madly in love with Sam. That was not the case at all.

I was irrevocably over Sam. That didn't mean it wasn't a sore subject, though. It wasn't so much that I still wanted to be with him. I knew very well that even if he all of a sudden did a 180, wanted to take me back, and I accepted, it would never be the same. It never could be. What killed me and tore at my heart strings when it would be brought up was the nostalgia of it all. I didn't want Sam back. I wanted back the feeling he once brought me. I wanted to be seventeen and in love again.

For a good chunk of my life, I would wake up every morning and wonder how my life could get any better. Every day would show me what a fantastic life I had and it would keep getting better.

When Sam left me, I would wake up every morning and wonder how my life could get any worse. My life was and continued to be a shit hole in which every day got a hell of a lot worse. My father died, I turned into a wolf, and my biological clock came to an early demise.

I winced at the thought. That was another very painful subject. But it seemed to make most of the boys think I was baby crazy.

Truthfully, I didn't always love children. They were messy, loud, obnoxious, annoying, and expensive. Then there were times Claire would cling to me in an adorable way or some baby with their mother would smile at me. Those were the moments I was highly aware that I could not have children. It wasn't like I ever had grand plans to have ten children but I still didn't welcome having the choice taken away from me.

Also, I turned into a giant wolf along with almost twenty other MEN in our tribe. I was the odd woman out. The fact that I couldn't reproduce made me feel like I was less of a woman. That contributed to my decreasing care in my looks.

When I was younger I would get up, take a shower, put product in my hair, wash my face, put on body lotion, blow dry my hair, and spray myself with perfume. I had everyone's head turning in high school. Now, it was a miracle if I even brushed my hair. It was a rats nest most of the time and you could tell if had seen a brush recently if I actually put it down.

The song switched to Float On by Modest Mouse. I found this song perfect because the lyrics were somehow optimistic but it was fairly depressing. I stared at the ceiling and let the notes pass through me. I felt like their message was spot on. Most songs that talk about moving on are so happy and tell you to 'keep going no matter what!' However, this was about a guy who had basically shitty things happen to him but he just kept going and not because he was looking at a silver lining or anything, he just did. That's how I felt about life, especially now. Everyone made a big stink about my foul mood and all I could think was; _well I'm still living, aren't I?_ The way I figure it; I was just going to keep living life, not in extreme joy or optimism. Just being was the only thing I could hope for right now. Fate had screwed me over so many times that I didn't expect anything just in case it decided to rear its ugly head in my direction again.

My eyelids fluttered to a close. My mind felt like a calm sea right before the storm. It lulled back and forth, crashing against the rocks to the rhythm of my music. I had fallen back asleep before I knew it.

For the first time in a very long time, I actually had a dream.

_My bare feet made audible crunching noises among the ferns, twigs, and leaves. I was in the green covered forest, somewhere in La Push. I lazily stroked my fingers across the moss that clung to each tree like a fur coat. Slowly but surely, I made my way to a river in a clearing. My ears had picked up the slapping of water against the rocks a while back but I basically happened upon it unintentionally. _

_When I came to the edge, it looked a lot smoother and shallower than I had first thought. I still didn't dare go in, though. As a child I always had a fear of drowning, one I had mastered but still held._

_Catching my eye on the other side of the river, I saw something rustle amongst the ferns and trees. This would usually freak me out but it made me curious. I had a feeling that whatever was on the other side was something I was looking for. I just had no idea what it was._

_I made my way into the water, clothes and all, into the river. This is when I noticed that I was wearing a long, flowing white dress. It swayed in the current and clung to my body as I got deeper. I waded to about the center and was pleased at how shallow it was. The bottom was probably a foot beneath me. I stayed there a while, savoring the cool water against my scorching skin. I suddenly noticed a shadow appear next to me in the water. I thought that is came from beneath the surface but then I figure it was actually a mirror image of someone._

_I had had a similar dream before where I would be looking into a pond and see my father's smiling reflection in the water. I would look back and he wouldn't be there. Then I would dive in the water to try to find him within it. I would swim and swim to the bottom. I always woke up right before I drowned._

_Therefore, I thought that the likeness in this river was that of my father's but this person was a lot taller and leaner. I don't know why I didn't turn around to look because I heard his footfalls coming closer. The image got larger and I was able to make out more of the man in the water. I squinted my eyes and right as I could discern who it was, I was woken up abruptly._

"LEAH! LEEEEEEEEEEE!" yelled Seth after he pulled off my head phones. My eyes popped open and I growled at my little brother. I clenched my fists and sat up to confront him.

"For God's sake, Seth! I'm right here AND you took out my headphones, I can fucking hear you!" I said as I opened my hand and gave him a needed palm slap at the side of his head. He jerked back a little after impact but he was smiling as always. Having an awful sister like me never changed his sickening optimism.

"Well, Jake howled for us and you couldn't hear that or me calling for you through the headphones. So, you're awake now, let's go, Beta!" He tugged my arm to get me out of the bed and I had an instinct to bite him. I shook his grip off of me and looked to the clock, it read 3:03 pm. I rolled my eyes.

"Ok, Seth, let's see what Alpha Jakey wants" I said with an aggravated huff as Seth made his way out of my room and I tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

I hung my legs over my bed, stretched out my back, and hunched over, closing my eyes. Taking a long breath, I used my hands to propel myself from my bed and I headed out of my room.

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I'm really hoping that was enough to keep you interested and even possibly get you to read my other fanfic if you haven't already.

Reviews are love!

Tell your friends!


	2. Tiaras and Dance Lessons

A/N

Hate me if you want, but I finally finished the second chapter.

I hope you like it and I really don't deserve awesome readers like you if you actually stuck around.

Thank you.

* * *

I got outside of my room and made it down the stairs. I silently prayed that my mother was still at work. I love her to death but I was in one of those moods where her voice would make me twitch. I know it sounds awful, but my mother could drive me to tremors with just one look. Maybe it was because we were so alike or maybe I had a deep, subconscious fear of becoming her.

Whatever the case, the hairs at the back of my neck stood to attention and my fists clenched when I heard my mother's voice call, "Leah, sweetie! Can you come in here before you run off?"

I took a very, very deep breath, drawing in every ounce of will power I had. Yep, it was one of those 'my mother's going to drive me absolutely crazy' days. I rigidly turned away from the exit and made my way toward the kitchen.

I gave her an icy smile and said, "yes, mom?"

She turned away from washing dishes and looked up at me curiously. "So, Jared and Kim's wedding is coming up in about two months. Did you know that?" she asked incredulously.

I rolled my eyes.

_Great, another fucking imprinted couple tying the knot and prancing off into the sunset together. _

The thought made me gag. I pulled myself together again when my mother shook her head at me in disappointment. I cleared my throat and retorted with sarcasm, "oh my word! I had no idea! Silly me, I feel so foolish! Whatever will the neighbors think of me for my terrible social faux pas?" I spoke with a thick, happy and yet acidic tone that did not go unnoticed by my mother.

She stared me down for a moment and I could almost read her mind, it said, 'cut the bullshit, Leah.' I held my ground though. Finally figuring out that I was not going to even try to feign a good mood, she shook her head again, sighed, looked away from me, and continued, "well, I might as well rip off the band aid now." She took a very deep breath and said, "you're going to be in Kim and Jared's wedding."

My jaw dropped and I looked at my mother in horror. It quickly turned to utter rage once the shock had worn off. Naturally, I blew a gasket, "I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT KIM AND JARED! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT GIVES THEM THE RIGHT! I REFUSE!" My voice got higher and higher in anger with each sentence.

I could barely hear my mother say calmly and quietly, "Leah, don't swear."

I ignored her, though, and continued my rant, "I'M NOT WEARING A HIDEOUS DRESS FOR THOSE LOVESICK IDIOTS! WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?"

All of a sudden, I heard a loud bang. My mother had pounded her fist against the counter to get my attention and was looking at me with severe purpose. Noticing she had finally gotten my attention, her placid façade came back, "don't swear," she repeated calmly.

Even though mom had broken my concentration, I kept seething quietly while looking at her in hatred.

_In what world was she when she thought it was ok to sign me up for this shit? Don't I get a fucking say? Furthermore, don't I get to be left alone and allowed clemency for at least 72 hours after the anniversary of my father's death? Could I use that reasoning in the court of law when I'm on trial for murdering my mother?_

She turned around again and continued doing dishes. I took in deep breath, trying to refrain from either jumping over the counter and tackling my mother or running to Jared's house to beat him up for having the audacity to imprint and get married.

I had gotten so mad that I forgot that the boys were probably waiting for me to phase. Either way, I didn't give a damn but I'm guessing Jake was going to howl for me soon if I didn't show. Thinking that my mother was done telling me bad news for today, I turned to leave without saying goodbye.

Right as I put my hand on the door knob I heard mom call, "oh and the ballroom dancing lessons are in two weeks."

My hand immediately dropped and I looked towards my mother who was still chirpily washing dishes.

_You have GOT to be fucking kidding me, _I thought as I gave the sky a terribly defeated look. My mother knew me way too well. She knew that saving the worst news of all after I have expelled all my energy on flipping out would keep me from exploding again. I was so drained and felt absolutely hopeless that I just put my hand back on the knob and turned it. I had no time to be mad about this. Phasing might do me some good but there was really no making this situation any better.

I stepped out of the door and got to the other side of the road where the woods began. Instead of walking to the La Push border and phasing, I felt my anger couldn't stay at bay any longer. I stripped quickly, threw my clothing onto my ankle via some string, and phased.

Liquid fire coursed through my spine in a liberating way.

There were days where I felt I had no control over anything: my destiny, my past, my future, the weather, etc. However, this, phasing, I always had power over. Even when I first phased, I felt powerful. Sure, it sucked because I was a freak amongst freaks but it's the only thing I had and I was good at it. Somehow, it felt so natural even though, by definition, it was not.

I transformed into the fury, dark grey killing machine I was and I ran. I didn't even bother to tune into the thoughts of Seth or Jake, who were the only two phased at the moment. I was on autopilot, letting the wolf in me take over. I subconsciously remember something about pixie leech of the Cullen clan seeing an Italian vamp. However, in all honesty, I only cared about the fact that I was out of my house and doing something positive that might lead me to killing a vampire.

I pushed the border and sniffed around every God forsaken tree, rock, twig, stream, and blade of grass known in Washington State. I barely noticed Jake phase out while Embry and Quil phased in.

I could faintly hear Seth filling them in while I kept running, I was in no mood to deal with Quil's unhealthy Clair obsession or Embry's….Embry's….niceness, I guess. I could kick the poor kid while he was down, throw him off a cliff, or insult him to his face (all of which I have done to all of the boys) and yet Embry was the most forgiving. My brother was the same way.

I was so lost in my thinking that I almost lost notice of the fact that we were all done patrolling. It was weird, since we all operated on the same wave length we all just started to head in the same direction at the same time. We reached a little clearing that we were all familiar with and breathed a sigh of boredom or drowsiness, all except for one.

I could tell Embry was pumped but the reason why he was baffled me. I could hear his short, almost cave man like thinking pattern of the moment: _must hit must hit must hit….vamp, no……TREE!_

His behavior was quite odd but refreshingly adorable and funny.

Following my instinct not to follow that train of thought, I rolled my eyes at him. He turned as if his master had called his name. He even wagged his tale a little.

Actually, now that I think of it, he wasn't like my brother. Seth was the happiest all the time, so he wouldn't let anything get him down. Embry, on the other hand, took it like a man; he never complained or fought back and he just would keep on keeping on. His cheeriness towards me now, after all I had put him through, was testament to this.

The only time he EVER held a bit of a grudge or talked back to me was when I made an especially bitchy comment about his mother, which I had no right to do. He chewed me out and it was the only time he ever did that to me. I totally deserved it and since then I had been laying off of him, he was a good kid and I wasn't going to fuck with him because I had a personal vendetta against the world.

I called to him:_ Ok, you thick headed oaf…_

On the other hand, I still give him shit, but in smaller doses.

_As much as I'd love to see you acquire _more _brain damage trying to knock down that tree, I don't think it's such a good idea, _I continued.

His ears turned down and he started pawing at the ground as I turned to the other boys. I faintly remember having to stifle a laugh as I heard him compare me to Shenzi.

Since I was always the master of the mask, I started Beta mode without even skipping a beat: _Well, ladies, there is nothing left to do. Jake was just being an anxious mother hen. _

Right as I was in the middle of that thought, an odd thing occurred to me. I felt self conscious. I never second guessed myself, especially in front of the boys. I lost that reflex when I figured that I didn't give a flying fuck what anyone else thought of me. But right now, I realized that I hadn't taken a shower in a while. Since I wasn't going home anytime soon, I thought I would go for a swim. Even odder, I thought I would invite the boys: _ I'm gonna go for a swim in the nearby river. Anyone want to come with?_

Out of all the boys to pipe up at this moment, it was just my luck that my least favorite of the three had to say something.

Quil annoyingly took the bait: _Sounds great, I'd rather that than visit Nosvaratu's sickly sweet haunted mansion_.

This, I could not have. I was immediately put on the offensive before Seth completed his thoughts on vampire rights. I spit out:_don't you have your child bride to attend to, Quil? Last time I spoke to Claire I heard she had a fairy princess costume with your name on it._

Quil growled at me while the others boys were rendered speechless by their fits of laughter which were most likely caused by the mental image I pulled of his bulky form in a pink tutu and glittery tiara.

My brother was always annoying but he could also be terribly useful. One day, on his way back from hanging out with Quil and (of course) Claire, this wonderful blackmailing opportunity popped up in his head while he thought I wasn't paying attention. I ALWAYS pay attention. So, I bided my time until the opportunity presented itself to being this picture up. Today was the day.

Quil gritted out _Bite me,_ somehow thinking that would intimidate me or get me to back off, he had no such luck. I took his retort literally; it was the aggression outlet I had been looking for all week.

My canines bared in a shit-eating grin as I said menacingly: _My pleasure._

I ran after him, not trying to get past him but running close enough behind him to nip at him. I faintly hear Embry crack a remark: _you're such an idiot, Quil._ _You KNOW she bites…even without being asked._

As I heard this I found the perfect opportunity to grab Quil's tail within my teeth. He yelped in pain and I held back the urge to whip him half way across the forest or against a tree for that matter. Instead, I tightened my grip and yanked him behind me, let go, and kept running towards a ledge the looked out over our meeting place.

Quil had stopped dead in his tracks, not even bothering to retaliate. Instead, his sat there in shame, licking his wounds (which had healed already), and complained to my brother about me giving him rabies. My brother shrugged: _Why you complaining to me? It's not like I have any control over her_.

_Damn right_, I thought without letting the boys hear. Then, as I approached the top of the ledge, I declared: _No one controls me_.

I guess I was feeling a little full of myself or maybe just particularly bitter. As that thought entered, so did Sam. I had an inkling that this was brought on by one of the boys thinking about it. My suspicions were correct when I saw Embry put his tail between his legs and bow his head in shame. That poor kid, he was scared shitless of me. As much as I had come to deserve it, I really didn't want him to hate me. He was a nice kid and I often found us having the same thoughts and taste in music.

I shook my head and turned to leave. It was for the best that he stayed out of my way. I was a tsunami of destruction and he didn't deserve that.

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Hoped it was worth waiting for….probably wasn't but humor me, lol

Reviews are love!

Tell your friends!


	3. Splish Splash

A/N

I felt like being productive….so here you go.

* * *

Keeping all of my thoughts to myself, I quickly hopped off the ledge and headed towards the river. I swiftly and silently sprinted my way to the river's edge. I gave no more commentary and phased out.

I didn't bother putting on my clothes and I walked into it slowly, letting the cool water bring my temperature down to a bearable degree for once. This kind of felt like my previous dream, just sans white dress.

I hadn't taken a swim like this in….in a very long time. I had forgotten how freeing and relaxing it felt. My dreams did it no justice.

By this time, I was in the water to around my chest, my arms floated leisurely on top of the water as it lapped at my warm skin. I naturally sank lower and lower into the river, further downstream. I finally reached the part of the water where I needed to keep on my tippy toes to keep my head above water. My mind felt foggy and yet somehow blank.

I let my feet go flat and the water quickly rushed to face. My eyes peered over the liquid mirror surrounding me.

If I were to be honest with myself, I was very tired. I hadn't slept or eaten anything substantial in days. My body must have been running on empty during patrol. It was just beginning to catch up with me.

I closed my eyes.

I didn't even bother to hold my breath. Before I knew it, the tide had pulled me in far enough for the water to rush in over my head. I was so exhausted. It was only seconds later that I blacked out.

"_Darling, everything's going to be alright" my father's loving voice reassured me. _

_I was laying down on my bed, my head laying in the opposite direction of my father's comforting gaze. My eyes were filled with tears but, looking at my surroundings, I could see that there were no holes in the walls and makeup cluttered my burrow still. It was a week after Sam had dumped me._

_In a dead, past voice that I had no control over in this memory I spoke, "I'm fine, just go." I had tried my best to hide the fact that I was crying by sounding as void of emotion as I could. My father didn't buy it though._

_He sat on the edge of the bed and heaved a great sigh, "when you were a little girl…"_

_I rolled my eyes so audibly that my father paused and gave a light chuckle. He knew what a cliché that was but what he needed to tell me was more important than that._

_He continued, "when you were a little girl, you were excited about everything. You bugged me for months to teach you to swim even though it was the dead of winter." _

_I had heard this story countless times before. He used it as a cute anecdote about my vivacious youth. I was only four years old and I already couldn't wait to swim. Once it was finally warm enough, he took me to La Push beach and, right as he was setting up the blanket, I made a fast bee line to the water. By the time he looked back, he found me chest deep in the water. He quickly sprinted in after me and had to pull me out of the current that wanted to swallow me whole. To his surprise, he pulled out an excited, happy toddler compared to the frightened, water logged one he had expected. Apparently I could have swum circles around him by the end of that day._

"_Well, you know what happened when I finally brought you to that beach. Since then, you've always been so spirited and ready to dive into life. But there's something I left out all those years telling that story. We were in the water and I held you above the water while you practiced kicking." _

_His arms went up in a gesture of holding a small child. He always acted out stories, it's what made him so interesting to listen to._

"_I gently let you go and you sunk like a stone. I pulled you up and you looked at me in frustration, 'daddy, what's wrong? I kept kicking! I kept kicking!' and I smiled at you. You were so cute when you were angry. I wiped your hair from your faced and told you that even though you keep kicking it takes a while to get to the surface but you have to keep kicking. You huffed and said 'well that's annoying.' You had such an attitude, even at that age. You were also very intuitive and curious. You looked back up at me and asked, 'what if I don't keep kicking? What if I stop?' I was at a loss for words. It was such a morbid thing to think and yet I knew you were saying it from a purely scientific view. I said the only thing I could: you don't stop. You keep kicking."_

_He turned his head to the side and looked at me before he got up to leave._

_Before he walked out the door he stopped and put his hand on the frame, "keep kicking."_

_Keep kicking._

Keep kicking.

My eyes popped open and my lungs began to ache. I had no idea how long I had been under but I could regain consciousness which must be a good sign. Just like my father told me, I kept kicking. After struggling for what felt like hours, I resurfaced and took a huge lungful of air. Luckily, it didn't take long to recover my breathing but I decided it was best to get to a shallower part of the river, one where I could feel the bottom.

"Well now I remember why I was afraid of drowning as a child," I said aloud to myself.

I finally had my feet on solid ground and I got up far enough that the water lapped at my lower back. I wasn't taking any chances by having my head closer to the depths of water. I rung my hair out and swung it back over my shoulder.

_That was weird, _I thought. I settled my hands on top of the water and gazed to the other side of the river. After what had just happened, I deluded myself in thinking that my father would be standing there, looking down at me. _Those you've known and lost still walk behind you._

However, he wasn't there and he never would be.

I heaved a deep sigh and explained to myself that it was just a dream. It was just my body wanting to keep itself alive, not divine intervention from my father. I looked up at the sky in consternation and thought to whatever powers may be: _Now, I know you say you love us all equally. But you don't, do ya? I'm onto you, Big Man._

Mid-thought, I heard a twig snap and took a deep breath, trying to capture a scent from the wind that swept by my face.

It was Embry, definitely Embry. He was the only one of the boys that didn't smell like sweat and dirt. His smell reminded me of a campfire on a cool summer's night and something distinctly woodsy but not dirty though I couldn't put my finger on it.

As I pulled out of my thoughts I realized that he was still there, just standing and probably staring at me. Even more disconcerting, I hadn't done anything yet. Well, I was never one to keep my mouth shut.

"Stop jerking off and get in the water. If you don't, then you better start running because I will pummel your ass on the count of 3" I said without looking around. I knew it was him and he knew better.

I started to count down before I faintly heard him say, "You can pummel me anytime you want."

_Did he seriously just say that? Oh hell no!_

It was then I realized I was naked and turning around to kick his ass would leave me pretty vulnerable.

_Fuck it. _I thought. _Decency be damned _ and I turned around to stare him down and of course, where did his eyes land? Damn, he was being awfully cheeky today, he must have had a death wish.

"What did you say, Call?" I asked as I ended his peep show by crossing my arms over my chest. I was hoping both gestures would snap him out of it and he would run away with his tail between his legs like he did earlier.

He was rendered speechless just long enough for my eyes to wander. I had to stop from literally shaking the thought out of my head. This had been happening a lot more frequently than I would ever admit to anything. Nothing had changed, he certainly hadn't. He was still my pack mate, still bronze, still….abs of steal….

_PUT YOURSELF TOGETHER, CLEARWATER! _I yelled at myself. I forced myself to turn around before I betrayed anything. _God dammit, what is wrong with me?_

He finally was able to stutter out, "ummmm…I just was gonna…and you…and the…" while I decided it was best that I wade out deeper to cover myself up a bit better.

I still kept silent, letting him sweat it out a bit, and maybe he'd even leave. I really hoped that he would, his scent was intoxicating me and I couldn't stop thinking of his beautiful, shirtless….

_Ok, pull back the horny reins. This is sooooo wrong._

My mind kept thinking impure thoughts when he finally blurted out,"why aren't you wearing any clothes?"

In pure, 'Leah's being a snarky bitch' fashion, I smarted back, "I'm having sex with a mermaid" and (because I couldn't help wanting to say it) "either get in here or leave!"

I was at total war with myself. I didn't want him there because I felt like being alone. But then I did want him there for reasons I didn't yet understand. From the corner of my eye I saw him tentatively put a foot into the water.

Either because I wanted to see him naked or because I didn't want to be the only one naked I said, "are you seriously gonna swim with your shorts on?"

A bit of his stupidity showed when he started to say, "but you might see me….naked…"

I couldn't help but laugh. He was really not hiding the fact that he wasn't good with women.

_Poor boy. However, that doesn't mean I can't torture him, just a bit. _

"Oh come on, you pansy. I've seen plenty of man candy in my day so don't flatter yourself…oh wait, now I know… you have a pinky dick?" I said as I turned around to raise a devilish eyebrow at him. I had to keep up my bitchy Leah exterior.

And he started stuttering again, "n-n-n-NO! I-I just…"

_He is making it way too easy for me to torture him, I can't resist._

"Oh, it's that bad huh? What? 4 inches? 3?...ouch…" I accused.

I could tell he was on the edge of exploding when he let out in frustration, "no, stop assuming shit…"

Then, I delivered the final blow, "it's ok, size doesn't matter to some girls." It got to him much better than I thought it would.

Before I could process what was happening, he dropped trow and kicked them to the side.

I have to admit, not many things surprise me and render me speechless. But a naked Embry could definitely do that to me. I couldn't help but let my mouth hang open in an 'O' while trying very hard not to look down.

It seemed like a lifetime until he finally decided a reasonably good way to get himself out of this embarrassing situation. Cannon ball.

_Oh lord._

Even better, he aimed for only a foot away from me and I got a mouth full of river water. My hair got tossed across my face and I glared at him as I brushed it away.

_Damn, he looks nice wet._

_No no no! Turn on the sarcasm. And SWIM AWAY._

"Took you long enough, Call. Very graceful, by the way" I spat out. I made him think I had forgotten him peeping on me earlier, that wasn't about to happen anytime soon.

For the time being, though, I just swam around, mentioning and betraying nothing. I acted as if he weren't there and hoped to God that he'd leave. Of course, he didn't. I must have swam in a million circles around the river, or at least the part I could. Bother sides were cut off by rocky water, this was the only calm place to swim in these parts.

I never looked at him but I could sense his eyes on me somehow. It should have creeped me out but I found it somehow flattering. I shook off the feel. I was to go about my business without acknowledging him.

I almost forgot that he was there until he started whistling.

_This is a story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world. And while she looks so sad in photographs, I absolutely loved her when she smiles!_

I was hoping that wasn't a reference to me but in some sick twisted way, I wanted it to be.

It was one of my favorite songs when I was younger. I used to sing it into my hair brush and dance around like a crazy person until Seth would come in and start making fun of me. Therefore, I couldn't help it when I started humming along. Once I fully noticed what I was doing I figured maybe I was doing it so quietly that he couldn't hear me.

I was very wrong; I looked over quickly and saw him grinning ear to ear. _Dammit!_

I stopped and continued to ignore him. I was still so tired and my back began to ache. I absentmindedly stretched back and floated to the surface on my back.

I was rudely awakened when I heard Embry's cocky remark, "Wow… well that gives new meaning to the phrase 'breast stroke.'"

At an inhuman pace, I dunked my lower half into the water, turned and glared at him.

_Oh, its on! No man gets a good look at my rack and gets to make fun of me!_

"Ok, Call. That's it! You're gonna get it!" I yelled at him.

A glint of mischief and confidence sparked within his dark eyes and he blurted out "bring it on, bitch!" while tossing his hands in the air, splashing up the surrounding water.

I swam at him with enough force only to knock him back a few steps. I really couldn't think of anything else to do. If we had been wearing clothes I would have gone under the water and pulled him down. This would not have worked out at this time. Now that I think of it, trying to tackle him wasn't smart either. I was lucky that he caught me and didn't tumble over. I, however, was not happy at all that he took that opportunity to start tickling me.

He knew what was good for him so he kept his hands by my sides. I quickly let myself go and began to laugh and smile uncontrollably. I kicked and splashed until I couldn't see straight. I hadn't had this much fun in….well…a while.

Between huge laughs, trying to catch my breath, I finally called out"stop, EM! Embry, stop!" playfully.

Surprisingly, he did as I said and kept me up by gently grabbing hold of my shoulders. This is when I noticed how far out we had ventured in the water. I looked down at the water and tried to steady my breath. When I almost had, I looked up at Embry with such a silly grin on my face.

Damn, he was cute. He was grinning at me in the same way I was at him. His smile was like the sun. I had never realized how radiant it was. It made me feel warm all over. Then I caught his big brown eyes and my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach.

I knew what I was feeling and when I had last felt it.

It felt so right. It felt like…home.

It hurt more than it helped and yet I craved it.

As I got lost in his eyes for a moment, I thought to myself: _What the hell are you doing, Leah?_

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H'okay….so…..

I'm trying to catch up Leah's story to Embry's. Therefore, those of you who read 'Life is a Highway' (and if you don't I strongly suggest you check it out) will have to wait a bit longer to get a new chapter, sorry.

Hope you liked it. Keep the comments coming, I love them. Trust me, I wouldn't keep writing if I didn't.

PS: I apologize for my geeky movie, musical, tv, and song references all within this one chapter, (if you know what I'm referring to at all) they are just a couple of many that I'm prone to make because they keep things interesting for me and you. And if you can guess them or even pick them out without the help of google, you'll be my best friend for life, lol.

Reviews are love!

Tell your friends!


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